I recently read a quote, posted on Instagram by @houseofwhite, that felt so appropriate for me; it felt so right. I’ve never really thought of life this way before – and it felt good.
Like most mums I LOVE my kids. I love my family, my home, and just generally doing things with my little people.
But I am also someone who always feels like I am not doing enough – like I am not enough – like I am not doing anything significant in my life; there are so many things I “should” be doing. Realistically I know this is not true (and it’s normal) but I can’t shake thinking about “what could be”.
This is mainly in relation to a career as I am (dare I say) disappointed that I have not accomplished more; that I have not “made something” of myself. Not that my working life is anywhere near over yet!.. But I do fear I may spend my entire life trying to figure out exactly “what I want to do when I grow up”! I have many rough plans and dreams, but I am not someone to jump into something half-heartedly.
On the flip side, again I am realistic – I know I have not accomplished nothing – I have had some great jobs which I have loved, and spent many years working in an industry “many girls would dream of”. I have always worked and worked hard, probably too hard, but this is something to be proud of. When I was younger, especially, work played a big part in building my social life and character and simply opening my eyes to a wider world.
But you grow up and your priorities change. Your life has changed; you have changed.
And this brings me to my point – when I read this quote – life made more sense. When I look at my kids I see my greatest achievement by far. I see two “perfect” little people who amaze me every day. My heart bursts with love for them and they (mostly) love me back more than anything in the world. Everything I do I am trying to do with the best intentions for them and for our family. I want them to have every possible opportunity in life. I just really want them to be happy.
The more I grow into my role as Mummy the more I enjoy it. Ok there are times or phases that are nothing but tough and drive me crazy. But that aside, I genuinely enjoy spending time with my kids and experiencing things with them as they grow. I’d chose them over anyone or anything else any day. So I guess this is proof that I have fallen into exactly the right “job” as their Mummy. They are by far my best work. Jo x