I have always wanted to write a blog. Pre-little people it was going to be more along the lines of cocktails, cafes and clubs, than tears, tantrums and toilet training. And wine – there is still common ground – I still talk a lot about wine! Have no fear – this blog will not be all whining about threenagers – you just have to start somewhere! And after all, once you become a mummy, they are and will always be, your main focus.
I want to talk about life, which in my case is mostly life with little people. I want to share who I am, what we do and like doing. I want to share our travel insight and experience; trips away and simply the adventure of our life. I want to show my home; its renovations and my style. I want to share my purchases and things I simply can’t live without. Like wine and coffee – lots of wine and coffee!
The motivating factor for finally writing the blog has definitely been the move north and more isolation ie. More alone time and thinking time! And a fresh start. This is proving to be one of those periods in life where there is a lot of self and life evaluation. Which is not a bad thing. It is in fact a positive and calming and motivating move for me. But throw in the fact that this parenting stage is proving the toughest so far – and here I am! I am trying to remind myself to believe in myself; that I am good enough; that I am doing my best; and that whatever I want to do is worth it. In regards to parenting and everything else.
We are exposed to so much parenting information I simply can not keep up or take it all in let alone practice it. Wow I have read a million things. And I don’t even read half of what a lot of people read. Some useful tips and some rubbish and most of it common sense or general practice. Or – dare I say it – I’m just not that interested. I have flirted with a few ideas or approaches. But to be honest it’s just hard to stick to things. Especially when you can’t see any instant benefits or improvements. Let alone have both parents on exactly the same page. Sometimes I feel like we’re raising two of the most amazing beautiful little people and sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably at all things a mummy should be and do. Cue #mummyguilt.
Looking back on my life with little people ie. parenting journey, of course there have been challenging times and periods that I have enjoyed more than others. The newborn baby stage with Milla was relatively easy for me however it was all new and thus had a cloud of uncertainty about it. My main frustration early on was nothing to do with my beautiful baby but more with me trying to cope with the isolation and change of being a mummy. I found it hard to see past the present situation ie. A lot of at home alone time and revolving my life around caring for my baby – how would I ever get back to “me” and my life?! Of course – looking back now – that time was so brief and I wish I had if just soaked it all up and completely enjoyed it.
As she grew I became more comfortable with her and with my new self which I think is fairly normal. I was lucky in that – although she never was a good day sleeper, and we have always struggled to get her to bed at night – she was overall a good and easy child – attention seeking and demanding (!) but healthy and happy and bright and well behaved. (until she became the three-devil!) It was all going so lovingly and smoothly that we had no hesitation in doing it all again! Being pregnant the second time was a little harder in the fact that I also had a toddler to look after but again I was blessed with an easy and straight forward pregnancy and second time round a quick natural birth (restoring my faith in this whole having a baby trauma)
Jack was an absolute joy of a baby – I am sure I am biased – but he was perfect! He also fed well, slept well and just seamlessly fitted into our life – which was and still is “all about Milla”! of course as he grew his personality blossomed and I guess with this the novelty of having a baby brother wore off and he became more of an annoyance and threat to his big sister. The older he gets the more he provokes her and will not play by his sister’s rules. Two very stubborn strong willed children make for a war zone. I completely love and agree with the saying, and keep trying to remind myself, that “strong willed children can change the world, as long as you don’t change them first” – but there are times when I would give my right arm to change them! I am stubborn. But I am nothing in comparison to the other three members of my family!
Lately Jack has really reared the green eyed monster in Milla. She is aware of every ounce of attention he gets. He gets more of my time than her which is not fair and not easy, but necessary. He talks like a baby so she has started talking like a baby. He is naughty so she is naughty; she encourages him to be naughty. She is doing things like drawing on walls which I thought we had escaped. She is just defiant; she will not listen and will not take no for an answer and really – unless I drag her kicking and screaming to her room – is not deterred by threats or punishments. I wish I could give her more of my time and help her find her happiness again. Or maybe I should not give it so much thought as this phase will [please please] be over soon enough. Being a mummy is frustrating and exhausting. #mummyguilt is relentless. What have I done wrong to create these demons? How can I bring out the best in them? How can I undo all the wrong I have already done? I need to remain calm; I need to not yell; I need to be patient; I need to follow through with my threats…
The is on thing you never question though – the fierce love you have for your children. Something you never know or understand until you have the privilege of becoming a mummy. As much as they drive me crazy it also saddens me that life moves so fast. The kids grow so fast; they want to grow up so fast. It’s gone or changed before you know it. It saddens me because I know I will look back on these years and realize they were amazing and brief and I should have treasured them more – but when you’re in the thick of whining messy fighting defiant toddlers, it is simply hard.
As I write this [well the first part of this as, like most things, it takes three attempts to complete] – standing at the kitchen bench in the hope that the kids don’t realise I’m on my lap top and literally sit on my lap top (!) – there is a scream from Jack and a “Jesus Christ” from Milla (guess she picked up that from one of my top parenting examples hey?!) and I’m quickly snapped back to the reality of the afterschool aftermath… until next time and more Life with Little People. Jo x
telling him off for running away… [she sounds scarily like me]… and she just loves any excuse to tell him off.